Many people get stuck on what is behind them instead of what is ahead of them. They get so caught up in the past that they cannot look to the future. In turn, they may not realize what their life is like in the current state that it might be in.
Growing up, I was always treated like an outcast due to what had happened. Being diagnosed with Epilepsy as well as losing my mom a few months a part set me apart as a person. Many people knew my mom and knew my situation with my health. In turn, not many people (both kids my age and adults) did not know what to say or how to talk to me anymore. I began reading more and talking less. In essence, I had become a book-a-holic. Not only did I had my nose in a book learning about something new; but, I began reading books that interested me such as The Last Apprentice series and Harry Potter series. In time, people began talking to me as if nothing was wrong. They saw that I was still the same girl I had been before with the only difference being that a few things happened that affected the rest of my life.
Finding a place that I could call my own was something that I struggled with daily for several; years. School was one of the places that I felt safe at. The privacy of my room became one of my safe havens. I was able to think clearly after being alone in my room. It was wrestling that became my best safe haven. I had made more friends in the wrestling world than I had at school. Most of them helped in me being in a better mood whether they realized it or not. To this day, there are those that are able to do that and make me laugh. I do not think I will ever have a place that I can call my own. Having wrestling as a main safe haven is just as good. I always end up having a great time and being in a better mood.
After a while I started coming into my own. The decisions I made affected me in a positive way to a point that others noticed. I have learned things from my mom before and after she died. She told and showed me things that I understand now that I did not then. The things that she instilled in me will always stay with me. Her influence helped me through her death in addition to my grandmother (her moms) death. Influence can be a powerful thing.
Many became judgmental towards me because of what I had been through in such as short time. It was something that I had grown used to and learned from. Not everyone will understand what I have gone through and how I have learned from it. I have had as much positive as I have negative things said about my positive attitude as well as the choices that I have made. I am not sorry for any of the decisions that I have made. I have become a blunt person and would rather say things as they are than say things that people want to hear. Things need to be said that have to be said whether it is good or bad. Life is never fair and never will be. Things happen and can be learned from. It is up to the individual to decide what choice and decision they want to make. Learning is part of life.
The journey ahead might be unknown to me right now; however, I know there will be situations that will arise where I can use what I already know and apply it. I learned from my past and have already applied it in life. One of the many goals is teaching others that it is perfectly fine to be a little different. Much of the world today is used to having to conform to something instead of being who they truly are. One thing my mom taught me was to always be myself and not what others want me to be. Consider what they say and make my own decisions. That is the difference between conforming to something and standing out.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Weird
In most cases, I have always the weird one of the bunch growing up. I have always had quite a bit of knowledge, a different point of view, as well as like being a little lower on the totem pole unlike many others. Most of my friends were a little more popular and had things I could not afford. Being on a budget was always the downside; but, it was always worth it.
I often knew how to think out of the box in addition to being able to have a different perspective on situations and see all sides of the current situation. It was always something that not many people had until later on. The ability helped early on because I made decisions that affected my life in a positive way.
Epilepsy not help. Not many want to be friends because “contagious” stupid because not. 12 year old kids at the time so not really understand. Losing my mom around the same time did not help either. However, I learned from it and helped others understand in a way they could by telling them about my experiences and emotions that arose. It felt good to not only get things out but help people at the same time. It was a double dose of good in times when I did not want to talk at all.
I gained the knowledge through personal experience as well as doing the research needed to learn new things. It was something I was good at. In turn, I was able to pass the information on to others and teach what I knew to others to help them with different things. I was also able to cope with things and move on. I did have thoughts of suicide but realized it was not worth it. I knew I could have a better life and people that loved me who would help if I simply asked.
Positive thinking lead to positive actions and more positive life. People in life try downgrade but only turn into positive. They do not realize how negative they are until hit rock bottom. Never care not my problem. Negative people that hinder things and dealt with by simply move on. Disregard what they say and ignore.
People may think I am weird; but, it is their opinion. Everyone is different in their own way and society view not matter anymore. I Am who I am and nothing can change that. I will only improve my attitude on life in addition to being and having a positive influence. It may seem impossible to be so positive but it is not. However, it is simply the mind saying that it is too hard to accomplish. When life is so negative, it can only get better when positive attitude changes that.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Revolutionaries
Over time, there have been many revolutionaries in the world. Each has done something unique to make them a revolutionary. A figure that is forever remembered for what they did as well as the accomplishments that they made.
Edgar Allen Poe is one of the many poets that have become famous from his works such as “The Tell Tale Heart”, “The Raven”, as well as “The Masque of the Red Death.” All of his works from poems to short stories were filled with horror. Whether it was from his life or surrounding events in the world at the time it was horror filled in addition to being gruesome in some way. He often times went into gruesome detail with different things. One of his many accomplishments was gaining the editorial position at the Southern Literary Magazine. He had published several books by this time. One of which had been entered in and won a contest in the Saturday Visitor. In his later years, he made a living as a literary critic and theoretician. Often times, he would attack as well as insult an author and the northern literary establishment. His reputation was him being a fearless critic and being blunt. Furthermore, he is now known as having tales of horror as well as haunting poetry that would have that lyrical rhyme to it.
Helen Keller was a Deaf-Blind women who became a woman's rights activist. She gave women hope and confidence to set their minds to what they wanted to do instead of letting men control them. She let them know that they could do anything that men could and have the same rights as men. In addition to that, she showed that she could lead a normal life. She never let her Deafness or Blindness get in the way. Furthermore, she proved that it did not matte whether or not she was Deaf-Blind. Instead, she showed that she can travel the world and speak the truth through Anne Sullivan. She had become an Advocate for the Blind as she toured and raised money for the American Foundation for The Blind. One of her biggest accomplishments was entering Radcliffe College in 1900. She was the first Deaf-Blind person ever enrolled. Four years later on June 28, 1904 she graduated with her B.A. Another one of her accomplishments was touring the world answering questions about being Deaf as well as Blind. She was literally able to show the world that Deaf-Blind people are just that. People. That people who cannot see or hear should be treated as a person in addition to respecting them.
Stephen King is another horror writer that wrote over thirty books. He is also still writing even though it is at a much slower pace. Among his many books are The Shining (1977), IT (1986), Dark Visions (1988), and Insomnia (1994). Quite a few of his books have turned into movies that have been just as scary and chilling as the book. Even though he is semi retired, he will always be remembered as one of the best horror writers of all time.
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